Testimonials - The VASES Program
Here are some real-life testimonials about The VASES Program and our Workshops from ordinary Singaporeans which we are honoured to share
LYFer Alumni 1
LYFer Alumni 3
The LYF workshop highlighted many key issues on family relationships that raised my awareness of the opportunities and actions that eluded me owing to the circumstances of growing up during tough times when our father passed on when he was only 48 & I was 8yo with 9 other sibling from age 4 to 20. My mother was struggling to put food on the table with the help of 3 older sisters & an elder brother who had to seek menial jobs at an early age. Our mother was probably very caught up with her own struggles or unaware of the importance of family bonding. The consequence is the subsequent impact on many of us as we grew up and raised our own families. The LYF workshop created greater awareness of the importance of developing & maintaining good family ties & relationships through the behaviour & actions that were covered by the acronym “VASES” which are applicable & remain relevant throughout various stages of our life. I wish this workshop was available to me from before I became a husband and a father.
Growing up in a poor background and a foreign country my parents were always busy working to make a living and had very little time me and my brother and sister. Most of the time we had to look after ourselves and when I turned 7 my parents sent me and my older brother to Hong Kong to learn Chinese so we wouldn’t forget our roots. I didn’t know I wasn’t going to see my mother for the next 3.5 years as she left to come back to the UK leaving me and my brother in HK with our grandparents we never met before. These all built up to a very traumatic childhood and led to me burying my feelings constantly. When I grew up and got married I promised to be a good father - one that would not be away from my children now matter how time constrained. I did manage to be there most of there school events and also home when we could work from home after the Covid times. But I was only physically there and not mentally nor spiritually. They could tell and I felt a real failure as a father - a far cry from what thought I’d be should I have my own family one day. Also the childhood trauma of being on my own to fend myself did not help my relationship with my wife either as I worried that I again would have to end up looking after myself as no one in the world will - just like when I felt abandoned as a little boy in HK. So family life was very tough dealing with this ‘on my own’. I was introduced to the LYF program and it started to help me properly deal with what I was going through. My ability to love others started with my ability to value myself - my self worth, my self acceptance before I was able to love others. Through appreciation and spending time with each other I was more able to start to become the family I had longed for which I lacked growing up as a small boy far from my parents. The VASES program and LYF workshop support helped me to develop and build family relationships. It helped me be able to recognise and look past those challenges for a healthy relationship across the different family members. Since I excelled in my studies and my work I had the misconception that I couldn’t find help from others and again need to look after myself. This LYF program showed me the opposite - that I have so much to learn and gain from this. The VASES program and LYF workshop helped me to develop and build family relationships. Since I excelled in my studies and my work, I had the misconception that I couldn’t find help from others and again needed to look after things myself. This LYF program showed me the opposite - that I have so much to learn from others so I can excel in this area too!
LYFer Alumni 2
My relationship with family members has been good and close. VASES has reaffirmed and strengthened the strategy I have been using. It has also provided some new ideas that can be added to my tool box.
LYFer Alumni 4
My key learning is to Value n Appreciate Self n Others by identifying my personal strengths that can be used to start building interpersonal relationships with others.